SEEING AND BEING SEEN: ONE PROJECTORS TRUTH

Living in a world that consistently places profit over the well-being of those who create it—it wears on you. As a 6/2 Projector in my first stage, I’ve come to see the world through a lens of pessimism, a natural part of my design before years of experience and reprogramming shift me toward a deeper, earned optimism.

Bitterness has visited me more often than my signature of success. Before Human Design entered my awareness, I misidentified this feeling as frustration, but no—bitterness is different. It’s sharp. It lingers. It tells a story of seeing deeply but feeling unseen, of knowing but being unheard. Understanding this distinction changed everything.

For so long, I felt abandoned—not just by people, but by God. Growing up with Generator parents who loved me but lived deeply in their not-self, I learned a few things early on:

Why can’t I keep up? Why does my energy trigger people? Why am I here if I don’t operate like them?

Let’s start with the first.

WHY CAN’T I KEEP UP?

Because I was never meant to. The entire idea of “keeping up” is a trap of conditioning, misguided care whispered sharply by a world built for energy types. As a Projector, my power isn’t in how much I do but in how I see. Yet, for years, I burned myself out trying to move at a pace that was never mine to begin with.

And when exhaustion set in, bitterness followed. My mind screamed, If they would just listen! But that’s the trap. The bitterness isn’t me. I know why they don’t listen—shame, fear, conditioning. Humans reject what they’re not ready to face. And that leads to the next question.

WHY ARE PEOPLE TRIGGERED BY MY ENERGY?

This lesson? It came hard and fast.

For a long time, I was an energy rapist. A harsh phrase, but the truth isn’t always soft. I watched how Generators and Manifestors shared their opinions freely, so I tried to do the same. But the response? Cold. Dismissive. Sometimes outright hostile. I thought it was because I was too quiet (hi, undefined throat), so I spoke louder. That only made it worse. The more I tried to be heard, the more rejection came.

I took the world in so deeply, saw so much, and I couldn’t understand why no one else seemed to care. Why they shrugged and said, That’s just how it is. I longed for real, soul-deep conversations—something to plug into, to sustain me. But my parents, lost in their own not-self struggles, weren’t a safe source of energy. So, I shapeshifted into roles that weren’t mine.

The provider. The therapist. The punching bag. The experiment. The guinea pig. The aloof girl. The weird one. The airhead. The hard worker.

Each one, a mask. Each one, a performance in someone else’s story. I learned that being fully, unapologetically me was a crime punishable by awkward silences, gossip, humiliation, rejection. I learned that my love hurts those I love the most in this world.

Projectors penetrate. We see people at depths they often refuse to see themselves. I find the parts of someone they’ve buried deep, locked away in the darkest corners of their subconscious. And I bring them back—the beaten, bruised body of their inner child. That shit hurts. And when you see it, you have no choice but to recognize your own hand in the damage. You’ve struck that child’s face a dozen times, maybe more. If you didn’t ask for it, if you weren’t ready, it breaks you. That’s what I unknowingly did as a Projector child. I was the mirror showing them the bruised and beaten inner child they had spent years ignoring. When someone isn’t ready for that reflection? It hurts. Who wants to face the hand that struck their own soul down, again and again?

WHY AM I HERE IF I AM NOT ABLE TO OPERATE LIKE THEM?

Efficiency. That’s the word. That’s God’s design. That’s the masterpiece of engineering vibration into form. That’s life.

I was never meant to be the builder or the ruler. If I were, I’d have been designed that way. God doesn’t make mistakes. My role isn’t to do, it’s to see—to guide. And the irony? I can only guide others as well as I guide myself. And so far, my life has been a masterclass in inefficient energy use.

But here’s the shift: I’ve taken the initiative. I’ve devoted myself to mastering the systems that reveal the human condition. Because I must understand. It’s in my bones. In my chart. In my design.

And I will never be seen and heard in the way I crave, not fully. Because no one else will ever experience life exactly as I do. That’s their journey through the information wave—not mine.

And that’s okay.

This is my experiment. You’re welcome to join me.